WORLD'S DUMBEST PAPERWORK (Open!)

> SIGN IN YOU DINGBAT.

"Whuh?"

The slurred response coupled with a few stray sheets of names and information flying off the work desk was probably all Shiki really needed to know.

"... Oh. Just another kid who needs to sign in. C'mon, siddown and sign in, will you?" Takumi replied casually.

He took a black clipboard with a piece of notebook paper attached from underneath the pile of papers. One of those chain-attached pens was hanging off the side, the clicker part chewed off. 

"Here, you're gonna need to give your full name, your grade, your class, your cell number and your e-mail. If you don't have a phone or a computer, just leave that last part blank, okay?"

> You suddenly question the prestige of this school. What is a guy like this doing in charge of dorm registry?

"... So, seeing from the names of previous applicants and process of elimination combined with that photo you sent us, you're that Kakuma kid, right? The guy who got sent here because of his dad? Them's the breaks, dude." he muttered, before going back to his own paperwork. He had a red "APPROVED" stamp in his right hand, and the other seemed to be going over official-looking documents signed by somebody.

"You're the one the Newspaper Club wanted. I don't really get that bunch, but they said that they 'had to have you' or some other nonsense. Dorm 11's pretty cool and all, but the News guys are rough. Good luck." he said.

"Oh, uh, and use whatever e-mail and number you'll actually answer. Don't link us to your spam accounts. _{That's what I did.}" he whispered the last bit.

> Ask the delinquent about the News Club.
> Ask the delinquent about himself.
> Keep your mouth shut and see if he has more to say.

> i thought you'd ask that.

The delinquent guy took the clipboard back from Shiki, giving it a four-second once-over before shoving it messily into the pile with the other various knick-knacks and papers.

"Cool, thanks. I'm Fukurou Takumi, by the way, a third-year over in Dorm 3- I'm basically the secretary of this place. They pay me. _{It's not like any sane adult would stay in this stuffy building past midnight.}" he said, before hearing the inquiry about the Newspaper Club.

"Oh, those guys? Yeah, they run the school tribune. It seems like honest work on the surface, just typing up and editing some innocent online news section for the school's website, but it's way more than that once you do a little research. The stuff they publish is normal enough, but they seem like they're after more info than just sports game results and teacher interviews. Call me crazy if you want, but they interview other students about really personal stuff, I hear. They have this head guy, Towa- he's probably the dude who invited you. He's a bit of a freak, but way smarter than I'll ever be." he explained. "Towa's pretty cool, won all these scholarships for chemistry projects and stuff. He's totally going to Tokyo University when he graduates, there's not a doubt in my head. But he... he scouts. He's the son of some higher-up in the Kirijo Co., and he has access to a lot of funky info, including student profiles. He sees everyone who comes in and out of the school... and for some reason, I guess he has his heart set on you as the next member."

Takumi sat back in his chair again, crossing his arms behind his neck in a casual fashion.

"But, yeah, I'd accept this if I were you. That guy has connections. The inside of Dorm 11 is insane, and he and his little sibling have it decked out in all this high-tech stuff. It's a one-way ticket into a new life... at least, that's what people say. Once you get to class, I think people are gonna notice you. Dorm 11 is normally completely barred to new people. Go enjoy yourself, kid."

> What now?

> You've got wings, kid. Fly.

"The setup? Oh, I needed money. My parents ain't been in working condition for years, and it can be tough to live off the money that other sources give me. I do odd jobs. Being a secretary just happens to be one of the lucrative ones, because so few people are willing to do something like this. At least I'm pretty awesome with numbers and records and such."

> Takumi takes the clipboard, stamping the 'APPROVED' notice next to you name. Looks like there's at least a moderate chance of your important registry forms not getting lost.

He absentmindedly stands up, picking up the fallen papers and rearranging them alphabetically.

That was when Shiki asked the last question. 

"'What now?' Isn't it obvious?" asked Takumi, shaking his head slightly.

"You head to your dorm, make some friends, go to some special honors classes or somethin' and maybe join a club with a secret handshake or whatever. You've got this whole entire year ahead of you- don't get stressed." advised Takumi. "And, kid- if you ever need anything, just come back here. I'm on the side of anyone who has things rough."

He then muttered: "Letter to the Ephesians, AD 400... 'Equi donati dentes non inspiciuntur."